Breaking the Ice Read online

  Zac was leaning in the opened driver’s side door. His lips pursed together and I could see a muscle twitching in his jaw. “So, you are drunk.”

  Is it bad that I found his devastation positively exhilarating?

  “No, Zac, I swear. I’m only buzzed. Too drunk to drive, not too drunk to know what I’m doing. Okay?”

  He searched my face for a minute longer than necessary, assessing the situation. His lips curled into a dangerous grin as he realized I was telling the truth. “Get in the back.”

  I took him up on his invitation, ditched my coat, and maneuvered myself into the backseat as tactfully as possible. Not exactly the easiest thing to do while crawling on my hands and knees and wearing a dress. It was long, thankfully, but there was a slit that ran from hem to thigh, and as I sat back on the seat, the damn thing betrayed me. I hadn’t planned to present myself to him quite so boldly. Not just yet, anyway.

  Zac’s eyes locked onto my bare leg, and I swear, he practically licked his chops as he climbed onto the floor of the car.

  He slammed the door behind him, ran a palm up my exposed skin, then bent down to kiss my thigh. “Fuck,” he scratched out. “Your legs have been driving me insane forever.” He gave a light bite to the spot he just kissed, adding, “And Jesus. They taste as good as I hoped.”

  Okay. Zachary McAllister had been wondering what my legs tasted like? I’d say I would’ve been willing to die happy at that second, but the truth is, I wasn’t quite ready to check out just yet. I wanted more of him first.

  I put my hands on either side of his head and pulled his lips to mine once more. My Jetta didn’t necessarily allow much space to move, but he managed to find a way. His body slid up the length of mine before settling himself right between my legs, and oh my God, what did I ever do in my life to deserve this?

  His tongue swept into my mouth as his hand glided along my side. I felt a groan escape from his chest and rumble against mine, the weight of him on top of me stealing my breath. He pulled a strap of my dress off my shoulder and kissed me there, my skin on fire from his touch. His hand was in a fist at my arm as he moved his lips over to my collarbone, peppering soft kisses along the swell of flesh above my strapless bra.

  I was in a complete daze from the surreal events taking place right there in the backseat of my car. But when his hand slid between my legs, I became more than aware of what was happening.

  Trust me. I noticed.

  He pulled my panties to the side and slipped a finger across my sensitive skin. I gave out a shaky sigh and he raised his head to smile wickedly at me… and then slid his finger inside.

  Oh my God. Just… Oh my God.

  I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, giving myself over to the sensations he was stirring within me. My nails dug into his muscular shoulders as my body pressed involuntarily against his hand. His movements were slow, tender, and I guess I never expected him to be such a patient lover. The reality was much better than my expectations. Much. Much. Better.

  I didn’t think anything could feel more incredible than what he was doing to me right then.

  I was wrong.

  He slipped a second finger inside as his thumb joined the party, and by the time his lips met mine, I was ready to completely fall apart. He groaned against my mouth in an aching voice, “Jesus, I want you so bad, Ave.”

  Oh God. You have me. I’m yours.

  I could feel how badly he wanted me by the insistent knot pressing into my thigh, and I moaned back, not even trying to hide the effect he was having on me. I kissed him then, rough and wanting, feeling his fingers moving inside me and the growl stirring in his chest.

  The electric charges started to run along my skin; I don’t know why I should have been surprised, but it snuck up on me. Zac’s mouth let out a groan against mine… and that sound is what put me completely over the edge. I held on for dear life as the pressure built into a cataclysmic storm of epic proportions before completely exploding; every synapse of my brain igniting as every nerve ending in my body caught fire.

  I absolutely fell apart. Died a thousand tiny deaths. Shattered into a million little pieces.

  Zac chuckled as I caught my breath, fairly pleased with his accomplishment. I swiped a hand through my sweaty hair and then abruptly pushed him down to lie across the backseat, immediately covering his body with my own. The movement startled him, but I only registered his surprised expression for a second before slamming my lips against his. His hands went around to my back and undid my zipper, pulling my dress and bra down to my waist and grasping at my breasts.

  This wasn’t over yet.

  I was exhausted and out of breath, but his touch gave me a second wind, and I found my hands moving on their own, sliding down his chest as I undid each and every button, unwrapping him like a present. I swiped his shirt open to reveal his sculpted chest, all bulging muscle and unblemished skin, just the slightest tuft of hair between his pecs. I kissed his smooth skin as his hands knotted into my hair, then ran a tongue across his ripped abs.

  He chuckled at that, pulling me up by my hair to kiss me again.

  It’s not as though I was some innocent virgin, but I sure as hell had never been the demented sex-kitten that was currently possessing my body at the present moment. I’d never felt so uninhibited before. I’d never felt this anything before.

  I unzipped his jeans quickly, then slipped my hand inside to wrap around him. He let out a heavy breath at my touch, and all I could think at that second was how exciting it was to get a little payback. I wanted to see him completely lose his mind.

  I was off to a good start, apparently.

  My tongue was moving inside his mouth; my hand was moving inside his jeans. He groaned against my lips, and I moaned back, his hips rolling against my touch, my bare breasts against his chest.

  He lifted up my dress, enough to slide a palm underneath and across my ass, kneading the flesh there, his thumb under my panties. I didn’t know if I should stop what I was doing to take them off or if I should let him do it for me.

  “I need to fuck you,” he gritted out, and I almost passed out from the sound of his voice, all hungry and wanting and craving. Before I could answer with a resounding Okay! he clenched his teeth together and said, “Not here, though. We’re not doing this tonight. Not like this.”

  I knew we weren’t in some fancy place in some comfortable bed, but I also knew that it didn’t really matter to me. I was reluctantly impressed that it seemed to matter to him.

  All thought ceased after that. My hand was working him over; his hands were everywhere else, sliding along every inch of my body within reach like a sex-crazed ninja octopus.

  When one of those hands slid down to wrap around mine, I almost died at the sight. I watched our joined hands working together to get the job done—no pun intended—and wondered what would happen if I simply nudged myself out of the way…

  Holy shit, he’s flying solo right in front of me.

  I grabbed him behind his neck and kissed his throat, licking and tasting and biting, shooting the occasional surreptitious look at what was doing south of the Equator. There was so much power in his movement, from his clenched jaw to his flexing bicep to his fisted hand, and I found it hard to tear my gaze away. It was the hottest thing I’d ever witnessed, and there was decidedly some new precipitation moving into my own southern hemisphere.

  I watched him in a daze, his strokes building speed, his breaths turning choppy. I grabbed a tissue from the box on the floor and he held my hand over his length as he flinched and unloaded into it.

  “Fuck,” he snarled, panted, laughed as his movements slowed and his body sank back on the seat. He grabbed a few more tissues to clean himself off before buttoning up, then grabbed me toward him to brand my lips with a searing kiss. I settled myself on top of him, the both of us trying to catch our breath, my fingers lightly dancing over his naked torso. I laid my head on his chest, hearing his racing heart under my ear.

  He let out wi
th a cleansing breath and growled, “That was insane.”

  Yes. Yes, it was. It was the most incredible non-sex I’d ever had in my life.

  I was still out of my mind, but the real world slowly started to creep back in. Led Zep was singing “Tangerine” on the radio, and I figured it must have been well past midnight if the stations were back to playing slow songs. I curled up against Zac’s side as his hand brushed a sweet caress along my bare skin. The back of my Volkswagen wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to snuggle, but somehow, we made it work.

  Out of nowhere, he said, “I’m kind of crazy about you a little bit.”

  Holy crap, it sounded like he really meant it.

  “What?” I asked incredulously.

  I felt his chest rumble as he let out with a laugh. “It’s true.”

  I nervously tried to make light of his proclamation. “You’re just proud of yourself for getting me naked.”

  “No. Stop joking around. I’m serious, Ave. I liked you right off, and actually had to work really hard to stay away.”

  I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Then why did you?”

  “Well, for starters, I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me. You made it pretty clear from the get-go that you didn’t do the groupie thing.”

  That was true. I didn’t do the groupie thing, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t into the relationship thing. I was just unglued enough to actually tell him as much when he spoke up before I could. “But then, you know, we became friends. I figured we were both staying hands-off because of that. Why did you stay away?”

  “Pretty much the same reasons as you. I guess I was playing it safe.”

  “Until tonight.” He shot me a wink at that, and I burrowed into the nook of his arm, my fingers flitting across his chest as he let out with an exhale. “I gotta tell you, when I found out who you were… I was crushed. Truly. You were the General Manager’s daughter, for godsakes. I had to keep my distance. I busted my ass all those years on the ice…”

  He trailed off, but I didn’t need to hear the rest of his sentence; I already understood. Of course I did. Hockey was his whole life. There was no way he could risk blowing his whole career just for a random hookup. But then what was so different about our situation now? Was it just easier for him to cave once I finally threw myself at him? The thought had me chuckling to myself.

  “I’m still the GM’s daughter,” I teased. “This could very well be career suicide for you if he ever finds out.”

  He brushed a thumb across my cheek, sending shivers across my skin. He raised my chin so I could look him right in those beautiful green eyes as he said, “Something tells me you’ll be worth it.”

  You’ll be. Not you were. Oh my God. Did that mean…

  He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stay away.”

  “You’re serious!” I let out in disbelief.

  “I am.” He was smiling ear to ear, as if his admission had removed a heavy weight from his shoulders, set his spirit free.

  “You’re happy.”

  “Yes. I am. Are you?” he asked, most likely aware that I hadn’t yet agreed to the “you’ll be” portion of his statement, this future he had planned for us. It was always incredible to see a bit of his serious side, catch a glimpse behind the cocky, ego-driven façade that he presented to the rest of the world. But seeing him so vulnerable? My God. It almost had my heart busting out of my ribcage.

  And he wanted to know if I was happy.

  How could he even ask? I was happier at that moment than I’d ever been in my entire life. Not just because I was curled up in his arms right then, but because I was the one who made this happen. Sure, maybe I had a little help from a bit of alcohol, but the fact is, I had come out alone tonight when it would have been easier to stay home. I’d worn a gold dress as a superhero cape, giving me the strength necessary to assert myself. After years of pushing him away, I finally let myself go for it… and the payoff had turned out to be totally worth the risk.

  Until this moment, the only intention I was shooting for was to get my hands on him. I didn’t back down and I didn’t relent until it happened, and I never thought to expect anything more. But the fallout was that I’d achieved a goal I never in a million years ever allowed myself to hope for.

  I’d made Zachary McAllister mine.

  “I don’t know if ‘happy’ even covers it,” I answered, smiling into his eyes.

  He was smiling back when he kissed me.

  Chapter Seven

  JANUARY 1999

  I woke up with a slight hangover the next morning, but even still, I was singing to myself and bouncing around the house.

  I went downstairs to slam back a huge glass of water and to call a cab. I’d abandoned my poor car in the lot the night before and supposed I’d better get it back before it was stripped completely bare. But when I passed by the front door… my car was already sitting right there out in the driveway. I was only wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, but I ran out into the freezing morning to grab my keys. They were sitting on the driver’s seat along with a note from Zac, explaining that he’d taken care of it. He wished me a good day, and suggested that I meet him at Johnny’s again after practice that night.

  Actually, he didn’t suggest it. He demanded it.

  Sure, buddy. Twist my arm.

  I spent my day counting down the hours until I could see Zac and waiting to hear from Casey. I was confident about the former and not so much about the latter. The wedding was happening today, for godsakes. I figured my friend would be a little too busy to check in.

  I tried to wait until a reasonable time to head to Johnny’s, but I must have been too excited, because I ended up getting there before the team. So, I sidled up to the bar and ordered a beer, figuring they were due any minute.

  But no one showed.

  It was kind of awkward sitting there all by myself, but I did it, thinking maybe practice had just run long. Once I finished my drink, however, I figured something must have come up, and decided to go back home to check my machine… but there was no message. I had Zac’s number and I could have called him but it was already late and I figured it’d just have to wait until tomorrow.

  Dammit.

  * * *

  The next morning, Casey woke me out of a sound sleep to tell me all about the wedding.

  “We got the Elvis package. It was hysterical!” she reported. “Simon and I were laughing so hard, I can’t believe we made it through our vows.”

  “That’s so funny! It sounds awesome, Case. Congratulations!”

  “Thanks.”

  “What did you wear?”

  “Well, you might laugh, but I went pretty traditional with my dress. Simon bought me this gorgeous white sheath of a thing. I looked just like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. Only, you know, short and brunette.”

  “Aww. I’m sure you looked gorgeous.”

  “What did you wear?”

  “Huh?”

  “New Year’s Eve! What did you end up doing?”

  I was excited to tell her about Zac, but didn’t want to look like I was trying to trump her big news. Besides. I didn’t even know where to start. I got tipsy and threw myself at him until we hooked up in my car, for godsakes? At twenty-three and twenty-one, I would have figured we’d earned the right to hook up on a mattress, for crying out loud. We’d have to come up with a better plan for next time.

  “Oh, I ended up at Johnny’s. It was a good night. Played some pool, drank, the usual.”

  “Well, good. I was worried you’d stay home without me there.”

  “Believe it or not, I do have a social life outside of you, brat.”

  That made her laugh. “I know, I know. Hey, we’re coming home tonight, so I’ll come over and show you the pictures, okay?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  We were winding our conversation down, but then suddenly, she said, “You know… I didn’t wan
t to ask about Zac, but I’m surprised you haven’t said anything.”

  Jeez. Word sure travelled fast. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. I just figured I’d fill you in on the details when you got home.”

  “Well, he already called Simon and told him everything.”

  That was unexpected. But I was curious to hear what he’d said. “He did?”

  “Yeah. He sounded really pissed about it.”

  “Wait,” I said, confused. “What are you talking about?”

  “Dallas, Avery! What do you think I’m talking about?”

  Dallas? “Case, I may be a bit slow on the uptake here, but I have no idea what Dallas has to do with anything.”

  “You don’t know? Oh Jesus.” Case expelled a deep breath before continuing. “Avery, Zac got traded to Dallas last night. He’s probably already on a plane there now.”

  My stomach sank straight out of my body. “Zac’s been traded? He’s gone?”

  I’d seen his evasive maneuvers with every other girl he’d hooked up with, so it’s not as though I should have been surprised. But we were friends, for godsakes. Did one single hookup put me in the Must-Dispense-With-Immediately Club? Actually up and leaving town without telling me? Even if the trade was a surprise, he could have at least called. But he didn’t say anything about it.

  He never even said goodbye.

  I couldn’t stay on the phone an extra minute. I needed to find out if what she’d just told me was the truth. “Hey Case? I’ve got to go.” I felt sick, but I didn’t want her to worry, so I added, “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Me either. I’ll come over as soon as we get back.”

  Good. I was going to need my best friend with me during something like this.

  “Looking forward to it. See you then.”

  There was a hesitant pause on her end while I waited for her to say goodbye. “Hey Avery?”