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  “At least he’s here!”

  “Oh you think that’s better?”

  “Better than being left behind? Better than watching my father overcompensate every single day because he’s trying to make up for whatever part he thinks he played in her leaving? Better than being left to deal with the fallout of my mother’s stellar reputation? Yeah. I think that’s better.”

  She took a huge shaky breath before continuing. “You just don’t know what it’s like to be a girl without a mother! Having to do things like go on a first date or get ready for the prom, knowing she won’t be there. You don’t know what it’s like to stare down a random woman on the street, thinking that this time, it might really be her. You don’t know how completely fucking impossible it is to try and make sense of any of it, every single day of your life, constantly wondering WHY?” She took another breath, coming down, swiping at her eyes. “I can’t expect you to know what I’m talking about. I mean, your mom is so great.”

  “Yeah, Lay, you’re right. She is. But I look at it like she’s the saving grace for the fact that my father’s a total dick.”

  She finally turned to face me, blinking a few times in confusion. “He doesn’t strike me as being a dick. Before tonight, I always thought he was...”

  “Nice?”

  “Yeah. The way he smiles and jokes around and stuff.”

  “Well, he is. Nice, I mean. When he’s not drinking.”

  “Drinking...?” I could see the gears turning in her head, understanding what I was trying to tell her.

  “He’s an alcoholic, Lay.” I was definitely embarrassed about the situation, but at the same time I was relieved to finally admit it out loud. Even Claudia and I had never talked in such blatant terms before. We’d spent a lifetime dancing around the word “alcoholic.” But now that I’d said it, there was no turning back. “He’s like schizo or something. One minute, he’s my dad, the guy who comes to my hockey matches and is able to run a successful company. The next, he’s got a few scotches in him and he turns into the meanest, snarliest bastard you’d ever want to meet. I never know which guy is waiting for me when I get home.”

  Lay went mute after my confession, but what could I have expected her to say? We were both dealing with our own bullshit.

  We were quiet as we sat on the cool lawn, picking at the grass. We launched into an unofficial competition, clamping the occasional blade between our thumbs and blowing into our hands to make them whistle, causing a few neighborhood dogs to start barking.

  Broke the mood, at least.

  Lay nudged into me and asked, “So, whaddya say we get out of here? I vote for fries and gravy at The King Neptune. You up for it, Chester?”

  I smirked and shook my head. Always with the damned middle name. “I don’t know. I’m not really hungry.”

  “Wellll, I guess we could just stay here and make out instead.... Ya wanna?” She waggled her brows at me, clearly only kidding around.

  But screw it. I was done kidding around.

  My hand slid up her neck on its own, under her hair, my thumb sweeping against her jaw. Her eyes went wide and she let out with a slight gasp, but I couldn’t register anything other than the fact that my heart was beating out of my goddamned chest.

  “Yes,” I whispered, before pulling her face to mine.

  I brushed my lips against hers, softly, trying like all hell to restrain myself. But it was only a split second before I raised my other hand to her face and opened my mouth, almost leaping out of my skin as she knotted her fingers into the back of my hair and slid her tongue against mine.

  I couldn’t believe this was finally happening. Kissing Layla was everything I hoped it would be and more. A possessiveness overtook me as I wrapped my arms around her, trying to brand myself onto her skin. I’d wanted her so bad for so long, and finally, she was here. She was mine.

  I pulled back to catch my breath, stunned into near-speechlessness as I pressed my forehead to hers. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

  Her eyes lazed over my lips and her mouth twitched on a smile she couldn’t contain as she tightened her fists in my hair and pulled my face back to hers. I was already hard, but her enthusiasm almost had me coming right there in my jeans. I laid us both down on the grass and pressed myself against her, letting her feel what she was doing to me.

  A slight groan creaked from her chest and I was gone.

  I opened my mouth against hers, our panting breaths exchanging in frantic need, the sweet scent of her consuming every fiber of my being as the salty remnants of her tears danced on the tip of my tongue. I slid a hand up her side, wanting to feel every inch of her, but I didn’t want to take things too far too fast. I was happy enough just to finally have her in my arms.

  I pulled the strap of her white dress down her shoulder and peppered her skin with soft kisses before making my way to her neck. Her giggles vibrated against my lips, and as turned on as I was, I couldn’t seem to stop chuckling either. I propped myself up on my elbows, caging her body underneath mine and grinning like a total dork.

  “I hope I’m not ruining your dress.”

  “Trip,” she said, smiling into my eyes. “You keep kissing me like that and I’ll let you burn it.”

  We were still laughing as I lowered my lips back to hers.

  Chapter 25

  DEFENDING YOUR LIFE

  A foggy remnant of my dream still buzzed at the fringes of my brain as I stirred into consciousness. Layla... in a sparkling white gown... giggling in my ear... a red carpet... a million flashing lights... a feeling of absolute and overwhelming joy...

  I woke up smiling, partially because of the awesome dream that morning, but mostly because of the memory of our real-life kiss last night.

  Once my eyes fully opened, however, reality crashed back in.

  I practically launched out of bed to confront my father. I found him downstairs in the kitchen, gathering his keys and briefcase to head out to work.

  “Hey!” I barked. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  Dad spun around to stare at me in shock, twin masks of rage and revulsion playing out on his face. “Excuse me? Just who do you think you’re talking to?”

  I knew I could be staring down the prospect of another nasty fight. But I couldn’t think about anything beyond my blind rage. “I think you’re my father. At least you’re supposed to be. And to tell you the truth, I’m pretty sick of reminding you about that!” I had stepped closer to him on every word, so I was able to get right up in his face when I asked, “How could you say that to Layla?”

  He jutted out his chin to respond, “I didn’t say anything.”

  I couldn’t believe the bastard didn’t even have the balls to admit it. “You basically insinuated that she was a whore by association!”

  “I did no such thing.”

  “You did! And even if you weren’t saying it about Layla, what the hell gives you the right to say something like that about someone’s mother?”

  He cocked a brow at me, attempting to come off as justified. “Well that... Back when we were teenagers, Kate was a bit of a... wild child.”

  “So what?” I scathed. “Kate Warren has been out of Layla’s life since she was twelve! She has no influence on her!”

  Just then, Claudia came downstairs hauling her suitcase behind her. The plan was that I’d drive her to the airport, but her flight wasn’t leaving for a few more hours. She was obviously trying to use her departure as an excuse to get me the hell out of there as soon as possible.

  “Trip. We should leave.”

  No shit. I ignored my sister’s request though, too focused on setting my father straight. “I happen to care a lot about that girl. And you’re not going to ruin it.” I ran a hand over my hair, took a deep breath, and added, “I’m done waiting for you to be a father to me. I’m done trying. I’m leaving. Just so you know. I’m getting the hell out of here. As soon as summer’s over, I’m out.”

  He seemed sur
prised by the news, but snickered as he asked smugly, “And just where are you planning to go?”

  Claudia took a few steps inside the room, taking up a protective position a few paces behind me. “He can stay with me.”

  I twisted my head to look at my sister, our eyes meeting in shared understanding as I gave her a grateful smile.

  “And live off what?” he asked. “Your good looks? I can cancel that card at any time, you know.”

  I turned back toward him, a muscle twitching in my jaw as I fought to remain calm. Still, my voice relayed every ounce of the barely-restrained malice that was coursing through my veins as I warned, “No, Dad. You’re not going to do that. Because you and I both know you owe me the chance to get as far away from you as possible.”

  Claudia tugged my arm to lead me out the door. “C’mon, Trip. Let’s go.”

  I let Claudia lead me out of the room, Dad’s words still echoing in my brain. As much as I hated to admit it, I didn’t have a plan in place. I lived in the moment. All I knew was that I was driving Claudia to the airport today and I was leaving for the weekend tomorrow. I’d just have to figure out what to do after that.

  I managed to get in a parting dig on the way out the door. “You’ve already driven your daughter away. Now you’re losing your son, too. Hope it was worth it.”

  * * *

  Claud and I had been parked in the departures lot at Newark Airport for an exorbitant amount of time while we indulged in a long talk.

  The standard complaints, the typical insults. My sister and I had been through this conversation too many times before. There were hardly any new revelations at this point.

  However, I was relieved to find out my mother wasn’t home during the confrontation with my father. I kept thinking that if we were loud enough to spur my sister to book it downstairs, why not my mother? But Claud and she had said their goodbyes earlier that morning before Mom left for her charity meeting.

  As usual, Mom was able to turn a blind eye to the complete and utter trainwreck otherwise known as her husband.

  There was a deafening sound of a plane flying overhead as I took notice of the time. I couldn’t believe it had gotten so late. “Whoa, Claud. You’re going to miss your flight.”

  There was a weighty pause before she turned in her seat toward me. “Hey. Why don’t you just buy a ticket and come back with me today?”

  I gotta say, the complete opposite end of the country sounded pretty appealing right about then. But an image of Layla flashed across my brain, and I knew there was no way I was going to split just when things had finally started happening between us. After all those months in limbo, we owed it to ourselves to see where we were going. “I can’t leave right now. I don’t want to just run away from my problems anyway. I need to deal with them.”

  “The only problem you need to deal with is him.” Claud let out a heavy sigh and shook her head down at her lap. “You can’t stay here. Not if you have any hope of living a life of your own.”

  “I know. I meant what I said to him before. I am leaving, and soon. Just not today, okay?”

  She pursed her lips and met my eyes. “Okay. But you’re my baby brother, Terrence. You can’t blame me for wanting to watch out for you. Just so you know, I meant what I said. You can come live with me and Sandy whenever you’re ready. It’s an open invitation.” She smiled before picking at a piece of non-existent lint on her jeans. “What are you going to do now?”

  I snickered bitterly as I ran a hand through my hair. “No idea. But I promise, when I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.”

  Chapter 26

  ANOTHER 48 HOURS

  I spent the rest of yesterday avoiding my father, running errands, and packing for the weekend.

  I only talked to Layla for a few minutes, and then only to coordinate departure times. We were going to be spending the next few days down at the Jersey Shore, or as the natives liked to say, down tha shaw.

  I was hitching a ride with Cooper Benedict, which would have been weird if I didn’t already know that he was taking Pickford, too. He just called me out of the blue last night and offered to give me a lift, explaining that it didn’t make sense for everyone to take their own cars.

  “Sargento’s hopping in with Rymer. They’re bringing Heather and Becca.”

  Heather and Becca? “No shit? I didn’t know they were coming down.”

  Coop tried to play it cool. “Yeah, I kinda convinced them to come. I didn’t think anyone would mind; there’s plenty of room. They said they’d bring all the food, so...”

  I’d known that he and Layla had broken up months before, but I have to admit, it was a huge relief to hear him talking about another girl. Good for him. And Sarge, for that matter.

  Being crammed in an enclosed space with Coop for two hours kind of ensured a forced bonding session. As much as I hate to admit it, I gotta say, it turned out he wasn’t such a bad guy. He had good taste in music, he had a funny sense of humor, and hell, he obviously shared my same taste in women. We didn’t run out of things to talk about the entire way down.

  As we pulled up to our rental house, however, the three of us went speechless.

  The place was a total dive. A perfectly dilapidated, two-storied rectangle of brown. The roof and the siding were both covered in dark cedar shingles; the front door, the window frames, and even the shutters were painted to match. The only bright spots on the entire façade were a ten foot, light blue smiling plastic whale over the front door and a row of rainbow pinwheels across the railing of the small brown balcony on the second floor.

  Cooper’s jaw went slack before he finally found his voice. “What. The Fuck. Is that?”

  “No way, man,” Pickford said. “There’s no way this is the right place.” He double checked the address, his eyes shooting from the paper in his hands to the number painted above the door and back again, unwilling to believe his own handwriting. “Fucking Rymer, man. Tell me again why we put him in charge of this?”

  Cooper got over his shock enough to pull into the driveway next to Rymer’s truck. We unloaded all our stuff and made our way into the big brown nightmare. Rymer and Sarge were sitting on an orange plaid couch playing Sega when we walked in. They barely looked up from their game to greet us hello.

  “Nice place,” I scathed, taking a look around the room. Brown paneling as far as the eye could see; dusty, outdated furniture scavenged from the sixties; a wall of bookshelves packed floor to ceiling with American flags, bicentennial dishes, and patriotic knickknacks...

  Holy crap.

  I hauled my duffel up the stairs, mildly pacified to find that the second floor was somewhat nicer than the first. Heather and Becca were making up the mattress in the master bedroom, and I dropped my bag on the landing before heading in to kiss them hello. Shit. I didn’t even think about sheets. I guessed that aside from bringing all the food, they were taking care of our housekeeping, too.

  “Hey, girls.”

  Pick and Coop followed up the stairs with their own greetings before promptly getting into an argument about who’d be occupying the master bedroom. A few coin flips between the three of us determined Pick to be the winner, dammit. The master was the least-shitty room in the mostly shitty house.

  Coop stayed upstairs with the girls while Pick and I went back down to the kitchen and cracked a beer.

  We’d just settled in at the scroungy kitchen table when I asked, “What time did Lisa say they were heading out?”

  “Around ten.”

  I glanced at the clock above the window as I drummed my fingers on the yellow Formica tabletop. “Well it’s already noon. They should be here by now.”

  “I don’t know, maybe they just got caught up.” Pick aimed a knowing look at me as a wicked smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Don’t think I don’t know why you’re asking. I already know about you and Layla on grad night.”

  My head literally did a double take. “Jesus, word travels fast.”

  “Na
h,” he snickered. “Layla told Lisa and Lisa told me. That’s as far as it’s gonna go.” He gave a quick scan over his shoulder to make sure no one was within earshot. “I didn’t realize that was the first time. I thought you two had been hooking up all through the fall.”

  “Nope. I wanted to, but she wasn’t having it. Once she got back with Coop, I stopped trying.” I picked at the tab on my beer to add, “Hey, uh, and also, I’ve been meaning to say I’m sorry for disappearing on everyone the way I did.” It was just way too hard to hang around when Lay and I weren’t even talking.

  Pickford was smart enough to realize my dilemma on his own. He didn’t need me to explain it. “Well, it’s good to have you back,” he said, clinking his beer can against mine.

  Coop came downstairs with the girls, all three of them carrying towels and dressed in their bathing suits. “We’re heading up to the beach,” he announced. “Any takers?”

  Heather tried to lull Sarge away from his Sega marathon but he had money riding on the game. “Uh, not right now. I’ll meet you up there in a little bit.”

  If he took his focus off the damned TV for one single second, he would have seen the look of utter disappointment that fell across Heather’s face. I was going to have to give that guy a good talking to.

  “What about you two?” Coop asked.

  I was dying to check out the beach, but I didn’t want to split and miss Layla. I was pretty sure Pickford had already figured that out as he answered for the both of us. “Yeah, in a few. We’ll meet you up there once the girls get down.”

  Once they split, Pick and I unpacked the numerous grocery bags standing sentinel along the kitchen counters. Coop wasn’t kidding when he said the girls were going to bring “all the food.” There were Pop Tarts and cookies, bacon, eggs, and cereal, a shit-ton of macaroni and cheese, and countless bags of snacks.

  Nice.

  We left the cold cuts and rolls out to make sandwiches for the beach as Rymer and Sarge trash-talked each other from the other room.